Zombie-proof bicycle

Bicycles are already the quickest way to get around town, but the chronic shortage of oil following a zombie apocalypse will render cars all but useless, so bikes will be the only way for survivors to travel. And just in case the average mountain bike is not up to the task, cycle insurance provider, the ETA, has built a zombie-proof bicycle in time for Halloween.

Zombie-proof bike ETA

The stealthy zombie-proof bicycle is equipped with:

• Electric chainsaw
• Flamethrower
• Smoke grenade
• Splatter shield
• Hatchet

ETA zombie proof bike flamethrower

Walking dead – cycling survivors

The qualities that make bicycles such a civilized way of commuting to work or popping to the shops, also happen to make them perfectly suited to avoiding zombies; bikes do not rely on oil or roads, carry a good payload and are so quiet they do not attract attention. It is a well-known fact that zombies are attracted by noise.

A spokesperson for the ETA said; “Mercifully, cyclists don’t yet have to deal with zombies on the roads, but inattentive drivers can come close. Our cycle insurance policy safeguards against the perils cyclists face today, but we are always looking ahead.”

Zombies and transportation

Zombie bicycle

Frighteningly good bike insurance

We developed ETA Cycle Insurance to be the protection we, as avid cyclists, would want to have . And we’ve been developing and improving it for over 20 years, drawing on our own experience cycling to build a comprehensive policy. It’s the reason we don’t devalue your bike over time, or charge extra for benefits such as £5m third party, friends and family cover, cycle breakdown cover or protection when you take your bike abroad. On top of that we include legal advocacy from a specialist team.

If your bicycle is stolen, or damaged beyond repair, we do not devalue it – in other words, whether you bought your bike new or secondhand, and even if it’s 5, 10 or 20 years old, we will settle your claim on a new-for-old basis. And because we know how inconvenient it is to be without a bike, we pay up to £250 towards a hire bike following a claim.

We believe these benefits should come as standard and at no additional cost. Take a closer look at our policy and get an instant quote.


  1. John S


    I need this for my commute next friday!

  2. simon hawe



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